People Against Adoption, Do You Ever Think It’s Right?
Question by Heart and Soul: People against adoption, do you ever think it’s right?
I grew up in foster care, 13 different homes from birth to 18, most were good, some bad and a few horrible. I’ve spend my entire childhood just wishing for a home and people to call my own. I grew up lonely, feeling unwanted, it was always so unstable, never knowing if I was going to have to move to another family and having to bond and adapt to that household.
I do agree with some points against adoption, mostly the pressure put of younger poor mothers to give up their child without informing them of other options and AP that lie to their kids about where they came from. But at the same time, it seem like people think the birth mother maternal instinct will mean she will be this perfect wonderful mother. That as long as the kid stays with their birth mother that their life will be wonderful and being adopted dooms them to a horrible life and a ton of mental health problems. I grew up on the other side of the tracks, I wasn’t lucky enough be a healthy baby, I was a bi-racial crack baby going though withdraw, kids like me are blacklisted babies, nobody wants us. I had foster siblings that were beaten, abused, neglected, sexually abused and worse. My own biological twin half sister were pimped out by my mother, at the age of 8, to support her drug addiction, one of the men she sold their bodies too, had HIV, they are both infected. They were lucky enough to be adopted by a wonderful family that worked very hard to help them realize that they were not pieces of meat to be bought and sold. Both are doing very well right now outside of their disease. I was lucky enough to find them right before I turned 18, their adoptive parents took me in and gave me a place to stay when I turned 18 and had nowhere’s to go. They supported me, helped get a job and get on my feet, if not for them, I would been living on the streets.
I guess what I’m getting at, sometimes it’s not always black and white. Some women have been deprived of the change to be wonderful mothers because they were pressure into giving up for adoption when they knew they wanted to keep that baby. A some women shouldn’t be pressure into a keeping a child when they don’t think they can raise it right or are mentally ready for the job.
Last line I meant to say “can’t raise it right”, I’m terrible at proof reading.
Ignore my last proof fix it note, I’m an idiot, need to start getting more sleep at night.
Best answer:
Answer by Tyretreno
Adoption is always right! YAY adoption! 🙂
Answer by AnnaBelle
I agree that it is absolutely not black and white.
There are some that say that children in foster care should never be adopted, because they will lose their identity. They believe they should be fostered long-term, instead.
While they might not be completely wrong, I’m hoping that this provides another perspective on the matter.
A dear friend of mine that I took some college classes with was in foster care and was adopted by his foster family when he was 14. He took their name, and said it was the first time that his last name meant anything to him. Sometimes when I read that kids should be fostered long term, I think of him, and how relieved he was when someone saw him, at 14 and troubled, for what he was. A child who needed a family.
Thanks for sharing.