Still Trying to Emotionally Recover From My Dad’s “lectures”?

Question by Iamhere: Still trying to emotionally recover from my dad’s “lectures”?
My dad’s solution to everything is extreme criticism. I was always told that no other techniques worked on me except nothing else was ever tried. I know he loves me, but these lectures have had a negative effect on my life. I do believe that I am a more negative person due to really harsh and hurtful criticism. I never answer back because I just want the lecture to end, he never listens to me and gets upset because I “won’t accept” his criticism. I suffer from a super low self esteem and I have never valued myself. He also exaggerates, once he told me life would be so bad that I would turn to using drugs, I was shocked as I have never and will never use drugs to feel better and plus it disturbed me that he thought my life was so bad. Self image has been very tough for me and I never bragged about my looks, but he felt the need in one lecture to rub it in that I don’t have “the looks”. He also told me that since my brother is a young guy he knows what young guys want, my brother has always put me down, so my dad says other guys wouldn’t give me a 2nd glance. I know there are better ways to encourage your children w/out destroying their self worth. I’m not saying that his intentions aren’t good, just that sometimes what people think is right can actually be extremely damaging. What can I do?
Btw I’m not saying I’m a perfect person and if I need improvement, I will take someone’s advice. How I take that advice depends a lot on how they approach me.
Being made to feel worthless, hmm I will never see that as a cheatbook.

Best answer:

Answer by Rose
It doesn’t sound like trying to help you at all to me..it sounds more like mental and emotional abuse. You should tell him how he’s making you feel. Ask him why he says those things to you. Ask him to stop.

Answer by mJc
My guess is your dad is treating you the way his dad treated him (or his sisters). At least our smart enough to know that your father is full of crap and destroying your inner soul. Know that you are right in thinking that way and hold on to the fact that you are obviously an intelligent, compassionate, good person. Your dad can’t change that! You don’t mention your age, but know that eventually you’ll need to seek counseling so you can figure out a way to get all that “poison” he’s put on you out of your system. I’d strongly recommend that you tune him out as much as possible knowing that you are a good person (no matter what comes out of his mouth). Focus on your education and in finding a career that will bring you independence and life satisfaction (meaning escape from fatherland!). Learn to meditate – that will help you deal with all his mental abuse. I wish you all the best!